she saw the monster...now she is never gonna love me for who i am....god knows why i even expect people to cope up with me....clearly i am below any human standards...

i am so foolish that for one moment i actually believed i saved your life...i felt like i created order...i felt like i was her support...i felt like i gave her stability...

i was so so so foolish...foolish is the word...she was doing perfectly alright until i came...she was cheerful and happy and creative and imaginative...and she cud tell me all that...she talked to me...i shud have jus stayed the way i was...

it was my mistake asking her for a relationship....i was plain selfish...she clealry didnt need me at all...i destroyed her semester...i shud have nevr told her i loved her...never never never....fuck hope...it is way too overrrated...i gave into my craving for her...and now she faces the consequences...

more foolishly..i tried being me...that was the stupidest thing to do..nw she saw the monster...she is never gonna love me...even if she tells me that i know she doesnt love me anymore...i am a monster..i am a MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER..i destroy people...i break thier hearts..i sap up all happiness....i spread gloom and pain..i dont deserve love...i dont deserve anyone..i shud just be with myself...that shud be my punishment...