Dear bloggie

i wish to die. i will fill u on this story later.

But this October 18th is one of the saddest days of my life. you will understand once i will tell u.

Stay Calm,....


You did your part...now u just have to wait and watch and react...no more actions from you...

DETACH YOURSELF DETACH YOURSELF...DETACH AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE...

You will be able to see if she is interested or not, only if u stop getting interested.

AND SHE HAD TO DO IT ON A DAY WHERE I AM NURSING a 102 fever, a SPRAINED LEG AND A BAD ASS COLD....

i mean of course not her fault...THIS is ALL THAT STUPID FATEs FAULT....

the slight issue here is...

the semester started me considering her mine. ... it gradually proceeded with me jus being happy with any sort of emotion from her...now it is like..she is on the other side..

She is not mine but she is with me....

but since she isnt mine...my energies arent directed towards her...


WHY ONE SHOULDNT BECOME A CONTROL FREAK ?? coz control freaks suck in a relationship..

i know whats gonna help me ..lol...do something mad and stupid and dont tell her about it...

BUT THERE IS NOTHING MAD AND STUPID THAT I EVEN WANT TO DO..

i dont want to sleep with a girl. it disgusts me
i dont wanna drink.
i dont wanna smoke..
i dont wanna do anything that is stupid..


i think i am gonna go back to the circulation thing...but that is neither mad nor stupid..

Is it normal that I get mad at my girlfriend for drinking?

You are her boyfriend, not the boss of her and drinking with her friends at their house is not your concern. Be a designated driver for her, but lose the control-freakery.

, if you keep bitching about little stuff like this she will eventually feel like she cannot do anything and she is losing her freedom, this is deadly for any relationship. why don't you go out drinking together sometime with some of your common friends, you can see her in action and relate a bit better.

Also, if you you keep this up at one point she will start sneaking around if she really feels like drinking, and thats an even worse situation!

Not normal. You're her boyfriend, not her father. And big deal if she drinks with her friends, plenty of people do. If you don't trust her, that's your own problem for *you* to work out, not burden her with.

i talked to her about it and she said its up to me to go through that stress or not and also told me i have nothing to worry about. 

100%, and your instinct tells you she will. And it's something you have a problem with her doing, so you should probably end it.When you get drunk and you're surrounded by peer pressure, it is a fact you do things you wouldn't normally do. Why should cheating be any different? Your inhibitions are lowered anyway. If I was you I'd just end it.

OH DEAR !!! SOME ONE ENTER MY HEAD AND TAKE OUT THIS CONTROL FREAKERY....

I CAN ENd IT, BUT THAT WOULD MEAN I AM DETACEHD FROM HER. AND YEAH I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I GET DETACEHD. I FORGET TO GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING.

BUT I AM NOT COMFORTABLE...

I AM JUST NOT...SHOULD HAVE TALKED TO ME. SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME BEFORE DOING IT. AND YOU SHOULDNT REPEAT ON AND ON AND ON>..THAT IT IS YOUR LIFE AND ITS YOUR CHOICE..

I KNOW THAT VERY WELL...

Disgust....apt forward for my feeling for her

Is that selfish lil self obsessed bitch someone i wanna be with ?? Nope.