Point being, beer pong is a fun sport

Read your last post, you psychopath

Trust me, posting this kind of stuff didn't make a better human. It just reinstates your fear that you maybe damaged. Tread carefully boss.
A self depreciating humor can lead to irreversible lack of confidence. Keep those separated.

The ultimate wannabe

Everything about my life is about being a wannabe. No, like, seriously, browser dude, i am a very big wannabe.
Atleast  externally.
Its just me pretending to be someone. The art of fitting in. Blending in. That's the trick to everything i believe in right..lol
i mean if i look within me then yes, that's some serious individuality. That's all me. Shaped myself so perfectly to be a sociopath or a playboy with such desperate ease. See the word desperate. That's such a huge part of it. Switching between personalities with ease.
I know i stretch it too far. Its getting to tiring, but i can't even help it.
Browser dude, believe me when i say this. In my last relationship i slapped my princess a total of five times. And trust me, please do, just once was impulsive anger.  The other four times was the sociopath pretending to be a maniac lover. I mean, i tell you dude, the brain told the hand, dude no, but the personality took over and was like, Fuck you brain.
What i mean is, i don't have anger issues.
I have personality issues.
Never did i actually get angry. But the maniac personality was like, lets have fun.
You see the innate need to Fuck everything up. Its like in every major life situation, i try to come out on top getting like i achieved something. And that's why when things look to be fine, a part of me fucks it up, just to give every other part a challenge to rise out and fix it, so that it recoats the false sense of accomplishment i have of myself.

Sareen

She makes everything better. That's the best part. If i could dedicate an entire essay to her,i would, but i can't, cuz i am lazy. So Fuck it. I did make a post for her. So i think that's enough.
But holy shit, the kind of impact she has had its just tremendous. So many have asked me label what we share. But i won't, cuz that's entirely her choice.
But still, a rock. She has been my rock.

Vikram, you have said the exact same thing about nitya and pravi. So what makes this special.
Nitya and pravi were gfs. At that point, they had far more involvement in my life than sareen. Sareen hasn't even ever seen me. She hasn't really met me. And yet she is my rock. That's what makes her special.

The silver lining

Alright, so maybe not everything is going fine. Half the year is over, and it feels exactly like how i felt at the beginning. You know the entire despair hopelessness thing.
Except theres a silver lining inn every situation these days. Or at least my ability to see the silver lining had become better.
Dear mr browser, you have a very stupid name. You are named after a dog breed. Yeah, how does that make you feel ??

Everyday I am feeling more complete. Everyday i am actually feeling more. The entire talking to self act its becoming more funnier and less depressing. I am able to compartmemtalize better. And holy shit. That's not even a real word.

.

Mr Browser,
You would be delighted to know that i am still a heartbroken piece of shit.

She sends me one text and my entire inner soul/stomach decides to do gymnastics. WHEN THE FUCK WILL THIS CHANGE ?
Like if i ever get a chance to meet her face to face, i will probably start blushing and frothing in my mouth and scare myself to oblivion.

On other hand, i have changed a lil bit. The drama queen aspect of me has reduced. Atleast i think so, who the fuck knows for sure.

But, i think it was good of her to reply. It makes things more normal.

BASTARD YOU HAVE A TEST TOMORROW . STOP DOING THIS SHIT AND GET BACK TO STUDYING .

A New Day ...A New Start Maybe...

Absolutely insane shit has happened over the last year, Mr Browser. Like if i had to rate all my years in terms of excitement, this would be the Mount Everest among stupid Nilgiri Dipshit Hills.

I grew as a person, grew as a jerk, absolutely made rapid developments in my journey to the zenith of asshole hill. Emotionally i am absolutely stone-walled now. Nothing bothers me, apart from the occasionally Disney's small girl character, or the sporadic drunk-stalking through Poppy's picture.

God, thank you for gifting me with some crazy imagination and dementia-like memory, I dont even remember half the stuff we went though. Like its all so blurr, Who the Fuck knows what happened ?

I have made my peace with the fact that I was the only dick in that thing. I have accepted that going away was her only healthy, sane choice. And I have accepted the fact that everyone is replaceable.

I have attempted at a new venture, a miserable failure that is a borderline rebound. Actually, to be honest, it is far from a rebound. I am scared i might hurt her, so i have kept a very safe distance.

But right now, talking to sareen. So will fill you up later.