sleep vs me

SLEEP WINS...lol

i kinda feel ashamed of myself....last night...i forced her and all...today evening i was forcing her and all...but heres the thing that bothers me.....why doesnt she stop me.. ??...it feels like..she doesnt really care....

well i am ashamed that my hands were in their while you were sleeping...but that honestly wasnt sexual...it was me experiencing a miracle...it was interesting..

but after that you werent asleep, i wasnt asleep....and yet i felt like....like an intruder..
if you didnt want it..just say it...if u want it ..show it...since it was neither of the two....i have to presume, it doesnt really matter for you....a sexual invalid....

woodruff dining hall - "she isnt a good choice"...."ummm...shut up...hw wud u knw that?"...
a stupid dining hall dude..cn talk in a flirting tone about my gf to me...wat am i supposed to do about that ?..the way he smiled at me when he said,"i am bout to go talk to your girl"...its kinda depressing....it isnt insecurity....it isnt possessive nature....it is simple irritation...

it is irritation....when rahul says such stuff...when the dining guy says such stuff...when anuraag said all those stuff..when yuvraj said all those stuff...lol...when ankit said all those stuff....i mean...ankit was kinda funny...but still it was about u....anuraag was the most hurtful..yuvrajs was the most derogatory..ankits was funny..but still it was all about u....

"forgive me for all that happened"...who am i to forgive...??...u created this turmoil...i am a mere spectator...all those above guys knw...they are nt comparable to what vikram is to pravi...i knw pravi....if it is me against the world...you ll chose me....it is a satisfying feeling...

i dnt hold your past against you...i hold the way you deal with the past against you...

your sexuality needs to improve.....
you are dealing with a really sensitive pervert...lol...
i already have amazing levels of low self esteem regarding my physical nature..i understand that a huge belly crooked eyes bald head and agressive egoistic person is nt the most amiable person to sleep with....but with you literally having no reaction...it goes further down....i dnt want to be the initiator everytime..i dnt wanna be the one n control everytime...in fact nt everytime..i dnt want to do that ever..coz it makes me feel desperate..i dnt need your sympathy sexually...lol...

my frankness needs to improve...
but yo uhave to help me there..if everytime i open up..and i have to see you saying hurtful stuff back or a crying face...theres no reason for me to open up...i shud open up..only if it does me sum good...i will open up...i want to open up..i have always tried to....once u slept on me while iw as telling you how i became like this...i was telling u childhood stuff...and u were dozing next to me.....once u told me it is not nice being vikrams girlfriend...but despite that...i want to open up...it is tough for me and your antics/reactions/expressionless faces makes it even toguher...

i honestly believe...u dnt love me for who i am...u love me for my poker face and my actions...i dnt believe that..but its a mere apprehension...which might be true...
i am afraid...the more u get to knw me....the more you will start disliking me...