You finally did it BITCH !!!!!....I cant let go of you, coz i fuckin love you. And i cant come near you, coz you fuckin hurt me. You hurt me like hell, and you have no clue how you do it. Thats just how amazing you are. you forget yourself. you stop thinking whats going around you. You lose control. You lose responsibility. But this time here, i am not the cleaner, i am the customer.
Theres a reason why i chose a date. april 5th. I dont know if its gonna hold true till then. But it should. I want that escape. If things turn out real bad for me. I want my escape. If somehow miraculously you evolve, it can always be joked about. You might not take it seriously. You might even get scared of it. But what amazes me is you never seriously looked beyond me, through me, around me to see why I chose it.
You are afraid to see bad things. May God bless you, coz bad things are gonna happen to you. My love shall not hurt you at all. My shell shall.
Every single day, that i am with you, you manage to take me out of my shell and put me back in there. every single time, you give me hope and run all over it.
With your stupid sympathy/love for Anuraag, desperation/irrespnsibility for Angela...and i dont know God knows what for everyone else, i find it tough to live
I find it tough to love.
You make it hard for me.
It kills me when you talk about Anuraag in a polite/respectful.sympathetic/insightful/anything positive....manner. IT LITERALLY KILLS ME.
everytime you do that, i feel like you stabbed one more needle in my heart...I HAVE NO ISSUES WITH YOU LOVING HIM. I HAVE ISSUES WITH YOU SHOWING IT TO ME. if you are doing something that doesnot please me, you better not let me know about it. Coz if i do know about it, you knwo i am not gonna tell you anything about it, but i am just gonna be less open towardds you.
You make it easy for me to detach myself from you. Real simple easy.
You should have long ago figured out, how possessive i am. Only if you respect the fact that i am possessive, then only shall i ever accept the fact that you can feel for other people. Instead you chose, to be expressive about it. I can smile right back at you everytime pravi, and 9/10 times you wont figure out its fake.
My love for you is real. but my relationship with you is fake. Its fake, coz you dont allow me to go into it. YOu hurt me before that.
I, for one, have literally worked my ass off for half my life, so that no once can ever hurt me. IT DOESNT CHANGE IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR ME. you either hurt me , or you come closer to me. Its your decison. I am not interfering with that.
I hate to sleep with you. Especially when i know, you would have willingly given your body to 3 other people. I hate doing it, but i shall do it. I know it doesnt affect you, It doesnt matter to you. I am not good at it, and i prolly wont ever be. But i shall do it, coz its normal. Even though it kills me. Even though it kills me when you look at me like that. Coz i know you have looked at others before like that. I AM NOT THE ONLY GUY. and it kills me.
It kills me when i am not in any of your plans. It kills me when you do things on your own. I know its wrong of me. BUT IT STILL DOES KILL ME. It kills me..
It kills me when i see you hurting Angela everyday. It kills me when i see you giving priya a fake hope. It kills me when you lie to me. When you hide things from me. when you feel things and dont tell me. When you think you are strong enough to handle things on your own. bitch you shall have unlimited chances, and i know everytime you are gonna fail.
If i come closer to you, you wont respect me enough.
If i stay away, you will end up doing stupid things.
I cant open myself to you, you wont understand half of it
I cant hide myself from you, makes me guilty.
ONLY IF YOU KNEW HOW TO DEAL WITH Me.
I can ttell you that too, otherwise AD, Nitya never should have left me.
you figure it out on ur own. hopefully, you do that before yo u have completely killed me.
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